*guy at party with guitar* i know what you all are thinking, “this tool’s gonna play wonderwall like every other douche with a guitar”, i just want you to know im not like that. im not one of those guys. anyways heres creep by radiohead
people who use the excuse “it’s a free country”
listening to your favorite band with your friend
“every time you post something online the entire world sees it”
yeah then explain to me why my post doesn’t have more notes
If you think about it Ursula was actually really nice because she only promised Ariel legs, and she gave her really nice legs that matched her body type and skin color when she could have just as easily given her goat legs
why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that
because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”
and not the slang word for the female genital region?
literally no one else knows this. nobody.
Why hasn’t there been a bra company named booby trap yet
*prays that I instantly become hot at 18*
*ok let’s shoot for 21*
*Alright 25 here we come*
Aasif Mandvi interviews Fox Business commentator, Todd Wilemon.
"Why are you poor? Stop being poor. Be rich like me!" - Fox News commentators, GOP congressmen, and late night informercials on real estate flipping.
Spiders eat their parents all the time and no one cares when they do it so what the fuck
did you eat your parents
How about you mind your own business
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